• Humor of the day

    Clients from hell

    Me:“How can I help you today, ma’am?”
    Client:“Is e-mail internet”?
    Me:“I beg your pardon?”
    Client:“Is e-mail on the internet? I have no internet, can I still read my e-mail?”
    Me:“Well yes, you must be able to get online to view your e-mail.”
    Client:“Oh, dear. I can’t see my e-mail.”
    Me:“Well, let’s see. Can you open up Internet Explorer for me and tell me what you see?”
    Client:“Open what?”
    Me:“Your browser, can you open up your browser?”
    Me:“What you click on when you want to browse the internet?”
    Client:“I don’t use anything, I just turn my computer on, and it’s there.”
    Me:“Okay. Do you see the little blue ‘e’ icon on your desktop?”
    Client:“You mean I have to start writing letters again?”
    Me:“I’m…what, I’m sorry?”
    Client:“I don’t have any pens at my desk. I just want my e-mail again.”
    Me:“No, ma’am, your desktop, on your computer screen. Can you click on the little blue ‘e’ on your computer screen for me?”
    Client:“Oh, this is too much work. I’m too upset. Just send me my e-mail. Can’t you send me my e-mail?”
    Me:“We…okay, ma’am. Can you tell me what color the lights are on your router right now?”
    Client:“My what?”
    Me:“The little box with green or possibly a couple of red lights on it right now – it’s most likely near your computer?”
    Client:“Lights and boxes, boxes and lights, just get my e-mail for me.
    Me:“My test is showing that you should be able to get online right now. Can you tell me what you’re seeing on your computer screen?”
    Client:“It’s been the same thing for the last two hours.”
    Me:“An error message?”
    Client:“No, just stars. It’s black and moving stars.”
    Me:“…Do you see your mouse next to your keyboard?”
    Me:“Move it for me.”
    Client:“Move it?”
    Me:“Yes. Move it.”
    Client:“My e-mail!”